If you live in Corpus Christi and haven’t visited Matilda Blue, you’re missing out on something fantastic!  As you all know, I love coffee more than just about anything.  So, when Steve heard that a Marine wife was opening up a coffee shop on The Island, we had to check it out.  The coffee is absolutely scrumptious but the fresh, homemade chicken salad is to-die-for.  Apples, celery, walnuts, chicken, red onion, well, I can’t give all the secrets away but it is a crisp treat for any foodie.  Ever since my first visit, I have had the chicken salad every single time I’ve visited the shop since then.  Of course, she also has homemade soups, enormous wraps, scones and cookies made in the morning, and gelato.  With a full service espresso machine, Jacki is ready to make any fully leaded concoction you can dream of.  Stop by, say hi, and stay for a short while.  It’s located right inside the “Mail n More” on South Padre Island Drive.

Check out just a few of Matilda Blue’s delights…

I clean the kitchen before I cook.

I make terrible food.  I strive to eat unprocessed foods, which also spoil easily.  So, frequently I make food based on the logic that it needs to get eaten and it’s good for me.  The other day, I made a smoothie with two apples because we had 14 and if I didn’t start being resourceful, they would go bad.   The apples didn’t blend well and it was like eating bland soggy oatmeal.  It tasted terrible and wouldn’t even suck up the straw. But I ate it anyway.

I get crabby because it takes me forever to get to work in the morning when my office is only 3 steps down the hallway.  Why?  Because, I force myself to make my bed before I can start working for the day.  But, it doesn’t stop at making the bed.  I need to eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up.  I have chosen to eat eggs, which I loathe, on the premise that they’re good for me and will help me to be the lean machine that I want to be.  However, I have to clean the kitchen before cooking and eating my not-so-delicious breakfast. What a motivating morning?!?  It’s not shocking that I dislike getting out of bed.

I own 4 coffee makers and still go to Starbucks because I haven’t figured out how to make it right at home.

I despise grocery shopping.

I only read books about business because I thrive on learning but never read anything for fun.

I don’t have any hobbies.  When I got inspired to learn how to play the drums, my obsessive to-do list shadowed guilt on any time that I spent doing rudiments.

I don’t know how to relax because I fill all my time with projects.  It isn’t weird for me to want to fold laundry on a Friday night.  Not because I like it but because I actually feel guilty when I have things that I “should be” doing.  IT NEVER ENDS!  I’m never bored because I’m plagued with an obsession to get things done and checked off the list.  It’s exhausting.

The other day, I was inspired to do something.  I had a great idea and was passionate about how it would bless the world.  Then I told myself that I had to get my accounting done before I could work on that project.  Well guess what?  Accounting took the whole day.  Then, I needed to get referral cards sent out, then filing my sales tax, then answering emails, then working on images that I had to get done….the bottom line is that I never did it.

How did I get here?

The truth is, I know how wrong that whole thinking process is on the path to success.  You can never succeed in business if you’re so busy working IN the business that you never work ON the business.  If I ignore the passion and inspiration because I obsess about the daily grind, I can never succeed at becoming something that everyone else is not.  I thrive emotionally on making a difference in other people’s lives.  How can I do that when I’m so busy working on things that don’t matter?

I know this.  It makes me unhappy.  And yet, I still haven’t made it stop.

I could blame the Marine Corps and use the excuse that it’s just me trying to control the few things that I can in my life when everything else is out of control.  I could blame my childhood because I grew up in chaos and now I’m compensating.  I could choose any excuse in the world and go on living like this.  But, I know better.  Making excuses doesn’t fix anything.  In fact, it makes us worse.

I am in charge of my own life.  In spite of all my faults, I’m going to change.  The power to control our own thoughts is more valuable than we understand.   It isn’t enough to observe and make resolutions.  I need to take action.

So, today, I’m going to run 6 miles and attempt to paint a replica of this Picasso painting that I’ve been loving.  And tomorrow, I’m going to take a windsurfing class at 11:30.  Cheers to less work and more play in hopes of being happier and, in turn, more productive.

Joy

Joy

]]> http://www.modernjoyphoto.com/blog/2012/01/a-personal-journey-to-change/feed/ 0 http://www.modernjoyphoto.com/blog/2011/04/just-the-way-i-am/ http://www.modernjoyphoto.com/blog/2011/04/just-the-way-i-am/#comments Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:33:00 +0000 Joy http://www.modernjoyphoto.com/blog/?p=743
My husband and I have been together since February of 2000.  Yup, that’s 11 years this year.  We’re about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary this summer and I’m happy to say that I love him more today than I did as a teenager crazy in love.  

I have a unique perspective because my husband is a Marine.  There’s this thing that happens that no one warns you about when you’ve agreed to come along on this military life.  It’s the constant temporality of everything in your life.  Your home, friends, surroundings, expectations, schedule, opportunities, and just about everything in your life becomes temporary…including my husband.  Obviously, I don’t mean that he’s only temporarily my husband.  But, I do mean that I never know when he’s going to be home…just got word at 8pm last night that he has 24 hour duty today and double pumped (means having two flights in a row) on Sunday.  Guess we won’t hang out this weekend and go to the birthday party and going away party together, I’ll go by myself.  But there’s something that happens when you live like this.  You learn to appreciate the time that you do have because you don’t know when you’ll have it again or for how long.  It makes you grow closer together and need each other more because it’s the only thing that’s constant.  I haven’t been faced with a deployment yet, but believe me, I’m reminded everyday that it’s coming and the Marine Corps is generously preparing me in small ways until then.  So, this post is for us.  Because life is a challenge and there’s no one I’d rather go through it with than my husband.  He loves me despite my craziness, faults, insecurities and mistakes.  He takes me just the way I am and gives me the freedom to be who I need to be.  I tell you from the bottom of my heart, that there is no greater gift.

Thank you so much to the amazing Ryel from RyelJ Photography for flying all the way from Orange County to what we call “The 850″ last summer and photographing our love.  I cherish your photography and your friendship.

Check out the album I designed from our images:

I am one of THOSE people who begins my day with a cup of coffee.  I’ve been addicted for a few years now.  I even went through a phase where I despised the taste of coffee but if I didn’t drink it, my body would remind me that it was important and I should consume or consequences would follow.  Starbucks used to be my coffee shop of choice.  Not because it was the best coffee, but more importantly, it was the most readily available, predictable in flavor, and best in customer service.  When I lived in MN, my drink was already made for me before I even walked in the door.  I was such a regular that they knew what my car looked like, my name and what I would order on a daily basis.  Seems overkill, I know.  It is.  I’m a simple girl who delights in simple things.  I just need my coffee.

Now, I just recently moved to Pensacola, FL.  If you don’t know where that is…it’s a town on the Gulf of Mexico, at the very tip of the pandhandle of Florida.  In reality, it’s closer to Alabama and Louisiana than the main part of Florida.  It’s a beautiful place with a wonderful climate.  However, SERIOUSLY LACKING in coffee options.  One of the first days that I lived here, I spent the entire morning driving from closed coffee shop to closed coffee shop using google maps as my tour guide.  Based on my expression of dependency on “fuel for life,” you might guess that I was severely disappointed.  Everyone knows that Starbucks is on every corner.  They’re practically omnipresent.  Not in Pensacola.  There’s one inside the only mall within 50 miles and one in downtown Pensacola.  Neither of which are good candidates for participation in my morning rituals.

Ok, ok…I’ll make coffee at home.  I have 3 coffee makers.  1 French Press. 1 Espresso Machine.  1 Starbucks Solo Machine.  After several attempts to buy beans at the only two coffee shops near my home without success, i was determined to kick the habit instead of buying stale beans from Target.

The key to life is that it’s all about choices.  When the circumstances don’t give you what you want…get up and go get it for yourself.  So, I did.  I joined the cool kids coffee club and ordered my Nespresso machine.  It’s like the iphone.  It will change your world in so many good ways.  60 seconds+Nespresso=Delicious coffee in my pjs. (I did have to promise my husband that I would get rid of at least one other coffee maker.)

As I ran along the ocean this morning with “Let the Drummer Kick” by Citizen Cope bumpin in my ears, I couldn’t help but reflect on life and the opportunities that this short life presents. I was enjoying a balmy 72 degrees and surrounded by more fog than I’ve ever seen. It was quite surreal to be running on a path where I couldn’t see the end, much less where it was leading past 20 feet ahead. I just followed…one step at a time.

With the artful surroundings, I mused about my personal response to a movie I recently watched. Invictus is about Nelson Mandela and his efforts to unite South Africa’s black and white segregated population after the apartheid in his first term as President. You may need to see this movie to fully understand my comments but either way, I was very inspired and feel compelled to share.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before becoming President of South Africa and changing the course of history, not to mention the day to day life for the people.
Revelation 1: Time is never wasted. No matter the situation, it is all about your passion and determination. It’s what you choose to do with your life. Most people complain of circumstances far less gruesome than living 27 years confined to a cell the width of your own arm-span. What you do during the hard times is just as important, if not more important, than what you do during the good times.

Revelation 2: Good leaders must lead by example. You have to be the first to believe in what you do. No one who follows you will believe in your mission if you don’t. Set the higher standard. If you don’t believe that the impossible is attainable, it is not. No one will attempt to achieve anything with you or for you that you don’t first believe yourself. Be the person you want to see in others. It really does begin with you.

Revelation 3: Everyone needs something to believe in outside themselves. Too often our focus is on the gratification of ourselves without consideration for others. When you believe in something bigger than yourself, there’s a common sense of pride. It’s rewarding to be part of a team.

Enough of my psycho babble. Enjoy the photos…i’m inspired to make the most of this life and share my JOY with others. Here’s the art book I designed from this morning’s images. Forgive the grain. I shot them with my iphone. I didn’t come prepared with a real camera. We’ll just pretend it was purposeful for art’s sake.